The Church of Sparkle Pony

And lo, Sparkle Pony came through the rift from his lands, to dwell with the peoples in the lands of Laurasia. And the peoples were confused at first, but then rejoicing? That's what rejoicing looks like, right?

1. The Church of Sparkle Pony allows no visual representations of Sparkle Pony
2. Don't touch doors
3. Never fight a dragon more than twice your size
4. Maketh not the pie when thou enter a competition of caketh